Anyway, I know the jury is out regarding dating, but since I went on the internet dating site a week and half ago I think I have been out with seven different women including the crazy lady. Fortunately, the ratio has been 6 to 1 emotionally stable women to crazy as a bat person
Been there done that! I am now focusing my efforts on the retired class that way if the transition into a WAS it is easier to chase them down as they roll past in their wheelchair or walker
It all started Friday. W cam home stressed. Something happened at work. We sat down and she started telling me all about it. I actively listened and supported her. She downloaded everything and got to better mood. I helped her as much as humanly possible.
We decided to go for dinner at nearby. Everything was going well. We talked about her still ongoing health problems and stiffness she is experiencing on her neck. She is finally agreeing on going to see some more doctors.
Towards the end of the dinner I reminded her that I had invited her cousin to come to visit us Saturday. She said “No, I am going out to dinner with couple X.
Couple X are very good friends of ours. Mr. X is a client of both her and I client and Mrs. X also works in the industry. I have not seen them since May. So I said “Great, I can postpone it with your cousin. I’d like to see Mr. and Mrs. X also.” She looked at me and said “But you are not invited.”
I was very surprised by that statement and asked if I had done or said anything to them that caused the decision to exclude me. She said no. “Why then?” I asked. She said “Well, we’re not a couple anymore.” followed by more spew and other WAW nonsense including “I thought you were leaving.”
I said “I have not completely made up my mind. I am a man with honor and I have the right to fight for my family whether you end up staying a part of it or not. That part is your choice.”
She started more spew and rewriting history. I finally had enough and got up, paid the bill and told her that this conversation is over and that I am going to get the car. There was fear in her eyes as she blushed slightly. I pulled up to the front got out opened the door for her and we drove home.
The rest of the evening was quiet and uneventful.
Saturday morning she was seemingly in a better mood. I made some small talk and asked what time is her dinner. She said she would leave at 5pm. I asked “So, where are you guys going?” She got angry and said “I’m not telling you so you can spy on me.” That got me angry too and I replied “I can read only one thing out of this statement: you are about to do something inappropriate and you know it. I don’t need to spy on you. I know very well when you’re lying. If you are trying to make me look bad to make yourself feel better about your own crap behavior, you are doing a fine job. I won’t do anything to contribute to your nonsense. You can believe and assume all you want.”
That shut her up and I moved to another room.
Not too much later she came over put a dog on my lap and started surfing youtube for puppy videos constantly asking me to watch. Shortly afterwards she made me a sandwich (the edible one). That was WTF?#1.
While she was taking a shower her phone beeped and I noticed two text messages. One was from Mrs. X confirming the dinner date and the other one from Mr. Z wondering if they were going to meet up somewhere beforehand. WTF?#2.
Mr. Z is another client of hers and also a client of Mr. X. He is a married man with two kids. Mr. Z has never been under my radar for OM status. They have never had dinner together alone or with anyone else.
I decided to leave this alone for now.
W got home late and I made sure I was already in bed. She was nice enough to call me from the road.
Sunday morning I decided to call her out on this latest crap. I asked how her dinner was and how our friends are doing. She said that everything was fine. I then dropped my little grenade. “Does Mrs. Z know about you and her husband going on a double date?”
Deer in the headlights but no answer. Moments later “See I knew you were spying on me.” I calmly explained how I obtained the information and told her that I would not waste my time on spying. I added “Your actions have consequences. Your moral compass is directing you the way of destruction of another family. It is nothing but wrong.”
More spew and WAW nonsense. When she was done I asked “What is missing from your life that I cannot provide?” She looked very sad when she said “I want to have a relationship with someone I can love.” I validated my a$$ off. I agreed that I am not that person and that I am fully aware of that fact. I asked “What can I really do to help you get what you want?” I was expecting the “move out” line, but instead she put it in a slightly different way. “Stop suffocating me.” she said. I agreed and said “I understand. I haven’t left you alone enough.”
I left her sitting there and monitored her from the distance. She was as sad as a wet cat.
I walked back in the room and asked “Do you want to spend time with the dogs today?” She said, “That would be lovely.” I said “Okay, I can leave you alone and go out.” She replied, “No, that would not be necessary. They would love you to stay.” I smiled and took my shoes off.
Suddenly she started cleaning the house and I mean cleaning. I have not seen her clean so much for a decade. I offered my help but she smiled and said “Thanks, I can manage.”
Then she said “Would you mind going to the store and get a whole chicken? I want to make a nice roast for dinner. We are not going to family Thanksgiving this year (bad uncle she hates is attending) and I have been dreaming about a nice roast.” That was WTF?#3.
Naturally I went, got the stuff and she is right now preparing for tonight’s feast.
I have to run out to meet my friend shortly for couple of hours. We’ll see what happens next.
I am very confused right now. It seems like I am entering the Pinhead Zone.
I may have to pack my stuff and start moving.
Her words and her actions are so opposite. I am losing focus.
pookie throughout your posts, you keep mentioning "WTF" as if you don't understand? You aren't that clueless. She does those things because..... she feels..... guilty.
Now you know who the OM is.
That is money in the bank.
Go to him.
Speak to him like a calm man, don't go over there with a louisville slugger (real wood not the titanium aluminum alloy) and do some weird outer space stuff where you put him into orbit.
Ask him with a smile on your face:
"Did you enjoy your dinner last night? I hope you did, really I do, they make a fantastic <insert name of favorite dish>, it really is so.... CHOICE. Anywho.... spoke to the wife, confirm you guys went out, I want you to know.... I'm happy for the both of you, you can have her now because I don't want her. One last thing though, does your WIFE know about this? NO? She doesn't? Well I hope I don't interrupt your family dinner plans tonight, I'm just going over there right now to have a chat with her about the current state of affairs between you and my wife. My plan is this, you can have my wife, I'll let your wife know about what you're doing, so that she can tell you the same thing."
Smile, shake his hand, walk away and inform Mrs.Z
- maybe ask her what her plans for dinner are, ask her out to the same restaurant, see if she has her husband's credit cards on her, I hear that restaurant has an excellent wine selection ;-)
