I do appreciate both of your POVs. I can certainly see that side of things and perhaps writing the letter after the D would be the best.

Sure, he should apologize about the A however, I can't make him do that and he is not in that place yet (if ever). I can only control what I do and it is true, I feel a lot of guilt about my part in the breakdown of our marriage. I have not been a good partner the past 3 years, a good roommate, yes perhaps. It is not my fault he turned to OW, that is his own self-esteem issues at work... It took both of us to get to the point we did and I am ready to accept responsibility for my part.

Don't worry about offending me. I am in a pretty comfortable place with myself. I know I can take it or leave as far as people's input. I would prefer brutal honesty over pussy-footing around!

(Formerly blgp)
Me-35
H-33
Married 4 yrs
Together 9 yrs
"Bomb" 8/1/10
Separated 8/6/10
D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."