The point is actually for me. I am not using it as a tool to get him back. It won't work, I know that. I need to ask forgiveness for me as I work toward moving on, getting stronger and looking forward to a brighter future with or without H. I don't know that now is the right time though. I would like it to be when his mind is most likely to be open to forgiveness... not necessarily a R. I think these are two different things.
But, as far as continuing to DB, I agree actions are stronger than words.
Hmmm.
Seems to me someone should be apologizing for having an Affair. Not the other way around. Just my $.02.
Not to be mean, but that letter would wreak of weakness, IMO.
Let me explain why you DON'T have to to do this for you.
You are here turning inward into yourself to fix, own, and better yourself and hopefully to save your marriage.
HE is turning outward and seeking external validation through an OW.
Who is really doing the work and saying they are sorry for their part?
By all means write that letter, but there is no reason to give it to him if he is with someone else. Personally, if I put myself in His shoes, I would view you as pursuing me still.
Again, not trying to be rude to you, just giving you another pov.
