Finding My Way

[bluestar]

Mystik, know that I'm saying the following with the utmost respect and love. Your DS is young and he models what he sees. Part of the reason that DS is feeling this way is that you are modeling jealousy, insecurity, pain, etc. in every action that you have with your H. Think about it. So many times at the pick/drop off, he ends up being the grown up telling you, it's going to be ok or don't cry, mommy.

I'm not telling you this to be mean but to hopefully make you think. It's time to see what you're doing from DS's point of view. What kind of mom to you want him to remember? It's time to get yourself in a better place if not for you, for him.

[bluestar]

By the way, you are projecting your feelings about the D onto your H. From everything that you've told us here, the only thing he would feel if you file is relief. By the way, if he's insured somewhere else, get the company name and tell your agent yourself. Get him off your policy. You don't need to pay one more cent than you have to. Who knows, you might even get a refund.

[KellBell0820]

Mystik, I think you need to file. Don't look at it as kicking him while he's down because that's not what you're trying to do. Look at it as just business, clearly he doesn't want to be married anymore (as much as that hurts, I know) and you need to begin working on getting yourself in a better place. One way to do that may be to start the divorce.

[Mystik]

I'm not talking about filing for divorce, I'm talking about filing for the money he owes me and to ensure that Whore is not allowed to pick DS up from school whenever it's "inconvenient" for H to do it himself.

[courageous wife]

Mystik

It is true that our kids feed off of our emotions...your DS needs to see you get strong so that he will feel safe and confident in at least one parent!

If you need to file those papers to help you financially and give you some peace of mind...then do it! You've been talking about it for quite some time now!

Does the school know who is allowed to pick up DS and who isn't?

[Mystik]

H called about one thirty, he was able to find a ride to the exchange place and wants me to meet him with DS. He also wants to keep DS overnight Wednesday and return him to me at noon Thursday.

Wish me strength, I'm already struggling to not cry.

[Mystik]

I'm just not strong enough to do this. Having to interact so many times with H today has beaten down my defenses and I'm a wide open vulnerable book right now.

[Mystik]

CW, I don't know whats worse. Stressing over money or stressing over H being furious with me and possibly ruining chances of a reconciliation.

[Mystik]

The school knows who is authorized and not authorized, but without a court order they can't stop H from authorizing Whore to pick up DS.

[courageous wife]

Mystik

I just went back and read the first page of your first thread!

Sweetie..you seem to be in the same place that you were a year ago...

If your H told you he wanted to come home...do you think he would stay? Do you think you would be any happier than you were before he left?

I am worried about you still being so vulnerable around your H this far in the game. Do you still see an IC?

Do you dangdest to hold back those tears today...do NOT let your H see that he still has this much power over you!!!