Thank you Lotus. It would be a letter solely about me, without anger and without his part in this. I truly would like to ask for forgiveness for my part. I don't actually want any reaction or response. I want to do this for me and know that I asked. Whether he chooses to accept and one day forgive is his choice. I can't make him forgive me but I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself and move on if I don't ask.
I honestly would prefer no response. I would prefer he take time to think about what I am asking. When we were having our really emotional break-up, I said I was sorry I wasn't there. He immediately protested adamantly that I was, it wasn't that etc... this is before I knew about the A. I really seemed to hit a nerve. I think in his mind he told himself I was there and I just wasn't pleasant to live with, didn't understand him etc. I would like to express that I wasn't there emotionally and drained when I was physically, that I apologize for this and ask to be forgiven one day.
The part I struggle the most with is how to write a letter like this somehow making it clear that I have no expectations from him.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
