Finding My Way

[courageous wife]

Hi mystik

Thanks for posting on my thread! Sorry I haven't been around for awhile and hate to see your H was in a car accident!

God is working behind the scenes! Hang in there sweetie! Go wiht the flow and see what happens!

[Mystik]

Talked to H this morning. He still hasn't heard back from about his car so he doesn't know if it can be salvaged or if it's totalled, and hasn't gotten any of his personal belongings from it yet either. He asked if I would be able to drop DS off to him today and I said I would do my best to find someone who could. He said with everything going on there he's not sure he could get to the exchange point but he'd see what he could do and call me back in an hour.

[Mystik]

Talked to H, he was unable to get anyone to bring him to the exchange point to pick up DS but will be able to meet me there for DS to come home. So my sister agreed to bring DS to H's place for me. There's no way I could do that without a complete breakdown and most likely a panic attack as well. I refuse to put myself through that. Just knowing he lives with Whore is hell, no need to actually see the place.

[Mystik]

H called back. Turns out he will not be able to get DS to the exchange point for me to get him and since it would be asking too much to have my sister drop off DS and pick him up he won't see DS today. He said it was a problem with timing and stuff.

He asked if he could take DS another night during the week and I asked what he was going to do about transportation or would he just play it by ear. He said he has no idea what he's going to do about transportation so he'll just play it by ear. He sounded very subuded and upset, felt bad for him though I know I shouldn't. I did my best to keep it as business like as I could.

Maybe it's just me but when we were living together and he totalled my car in an accident we just shared his car until I could get a new one. He did his best, as did I, to accomodate the inconveniences of one car and made concessions for one another. Sounds like Whore isn't doing that.

Trying not to mindread, trying not to mindread.

[Mystik]

DS asked me earlier if I had another baby would I give all my attention to the new baby and not to him. I of course assured him I would do my best to split my time evenly between them. Then he asked if I had a new baby what would I tell him and I said I would tell him that because the new baby needed me so much that I might not be able to spend as much time with him (DS) as I used to but I would still make sure I had some time to cuddle and read to him and play with him like I do now. He's been quite demanding of my time and attention this weekend, moreso than usual.

I think It is here and DS is feeling quite insecure about his place now. My poor baby boy.

[TimeHeals]

Your son is thinking because the OW is pregnant, and he isn't the center of attention when he's with his dad most likely.

Sometimes ... well, it really isn't all about YOU.

[Mystik]

I know it's not all about me, and DS was fine during the time Whore was pregnant, but now that it's time for It to be here he's starting to feel insecure.

[KellBell0820]

That's probably true Mystik. I think you did good assuring him but maybe you should ask your H to also assure him?

[Mystik]

Still torn about whether or not to file the papers against H. When I see my bank account balance compared to my bills I know I need to. But right now it feels like I'd be kicking him while he's down.

I caved and asked if he got ahold of my insurance agent on Friday. He said that he tried but didn't get through, he'll try again tomorrow.

[Mystik]

Kellbell, I would but I can't handle talking to H about anything personal. I just start crying in front of H and it's not pretty.