MLC, H & me...moving foward

[courageous wife]

Hi NM and GAG

I was thinking that because we were married, we had different money decisions/choices/options whatever you want to say. Like I wouldn't be living where I am if it weren't for H, and have accrued certain bills, etc. SOOO because of the decision to divorce, our H's have obligations that they wouldn't have if they stayed married. Sucks for them but it was their choice.

NM...as always, you are able to show me a different way to look at things! And, yes "I" know that I would not be doing this out of resentment, anger and betrayal but I know H is going to think that!

Sweet GAG!

Are you able to communicate productively with H?

I haven't seen him since July when I dared to ask him if he was happy and we have only talked briefly on the phone a couple of times about business since then. He chose to file for a D and surprise me with the papers...when I asked him about talking to the kids he blew up and said "this is what YOU wanted"...I don't think he is wanting to face me...it is much easier for him to do this thru his L. Same now with the property settlement...he and his L "took the liberty" of having something drawn up! I only wish we could communicate!

So, the meeting with the L went well...only needed one kleenex and that was when we were discussing the parenting plan and holidays!

My L said that it was obvious that H's new L contacted him to get things moving. The agreement was poorly written. H's L said that her client didn't think there would be much dispute over property or custody issues!

There are several things that I do indeed have issues with including our rental property (he wants me to sign it over to him and I keep our marital home which we owe $20,000 more than it is worth right now). He doesn't want to give me half of his retirement which I am entitled to. He doesn't want to pay for health ins for me during the 6mo waiting period for the D to be final...but, this is the kicker...THIS is how I KNOW that either he didn't read this thing or he has truly lost it! The agreement states that the property that is in each of out possession right now belongs to us....so...I have a garage full of tools and collectibles that are his but according to that agreement...they are now MINE...a basement full of gun/reloading stuff/darkroom equipment etc that are now MINE and a couple of antiques from his parents that are now MINE...according to this agreement!

He is definitely not of sound mind or body! I will not take advantage of that but it just shows me where his head is at!!!

I will not take advantage of his "illness" !!!

I have to get some updated paperwork together for my L...we do not have a set time limit and she is willing to drag this out as long as I want......she wants to go for as much as possilbe...that is how this game is played...I would like to prolong it thru the holidays if I can....nothing has to be decided right now!