Hi again Sanderika, I've just re-read your post and I feel things worked out the way they should have in court. I still think H's no-show is an indication that he wanted you to make the final decision and the judge to set the interim measures becuase he is still unable to make that step for himself. Kind of a denial I guess. Good to see that he was still in communication and that he spent the day with S. Now you've taken the first step, rest and revive a little.....
Originally Posted By: Sanderika
I am proud of you that you stood up to him firmly and pointed out the boundaries and affect his choice last weekend had on you and D.
RE: "H said I was whinging" H has no right in criticizing you for your needs and thoughts on anything. You are doing a marvelous job managing your life and D's. H being MIA, he really has no say in the matter and that was mean. I hope you promptly ended the chat.
I am really caught atm because everything that comes up I try to address calmly and this was an example. I put it out there hoping H would see where I was coming from and apologise or at least recognise his part. Wrong! All he did was justify the action he had taken. Same old, same old. However, on reflection I realise that to be more authentic in that situation I should have text/called him at the time and found out what was going on between H and D rather than just done the driving for her.
There are some positive differences which are becoming quite consistent. H is receptive to discussing issues (albeit they have to leave him as innocent and me as guilty) now in a calm manner. If I call him, he answers his phone. Previously he would not answer. If there's a misunderstanding he bounces back quickly.
Now, yesterday I did think, "Enough!" and I was tired and overwhelmed by work so I gave H an out but interestingly he didn't take it.
So the situation remains.....he doesn't want to let go but he doesn't want to commit. I need the DB coaching. Holidays soon so I can organise the time then.
