cheated on, lied to, and now I am moving on

[Lucky11too]

I doubt that he did not ever "love" you, but I've been thinking alot recently about how different people think in love a different way. My MIL for example (who I think is a very loving person, but has a very skewed since of love), thinks of love as giving tangible things (aka, is a complete enabler). Her and FIL (IMHO) have an awful R. She alwasys "nags" him, he's always stubborn, and they always sleep separately - but oddly enough, it works for them. Me (and I'm sure you) think of love a lot more differently. For me, it is made up of both the romantic feelings and physical closeness (which can waiver alot) but also of the more deep down feelings of commitment, support, honesty - basically undconditional love. This is obviously a long story for a short answer, but I bet you he thought you had a "loving" R based on neediness and what you provided for him. Even though I'm not to the D yet, I thinking alot about the feelings of my brain vs my heart. Maybe in theory I know I'm better to be away from all of H's destructive ways, but to think about it being completely over between H and I still breaks my heart.

I don't get the ring tho. I know you said he wants to keep up the front, but really, isn't enough enough. At least he is not standing in the way of the D anymore (although I cannot believe he blamed the L for not moving fast enough - some nerve! And so rude-if he wants it done so badly, then he should have done it himself!), but it's awful that he's being emotional hurtful by wearing his ring, watch, etc. I definitely agree with cutting him off except for discussions about S. You have been more than nice, but he has done nothing to deserve your friendship.

Good luck on raking and stay warm!