Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

I know that my changes have taken hold and that W has noticed the change. W the last few days has told me that she needs to talk to me. W finally talked today. She was upset that she is the parent that is the "bad cop" with kids and I am the "good cop". I have been using the communication skills in the book "Feeling Good Together." She has called me on the carpet using these techniques. She gets upset because this has been completely out of character for me, a 180. I know that I am feeling stronger and better about myself.

She though talked about our relationship and I was listening, not pressuring, and encouraging her to talk. I also talked of my feelings. She has said on numberous occassions that she she is has to be able to for herself. Today she went further and revealed she needs to be able to forgive herself at how poorly she has treated me over the years. I told her that I know it will not chage her process of self-forgiveness, but I have forgiven her. W also stated I have been a good provider, father and a good person. W was talking around D. I asked her if she was think of that process. Her response was that she is thinking about that. W emotions and her talking points were all over the place. I unfortunately was also emotional. She then talked that she wanted to buy a bottle of wine for us for dinner, but did not want to lead me into thinking things are getting better. Because they are not, stated W.

I need to know is my W on the fence, is she wanting to cut me lose and trying to find ways for me to fail and blame me, does she want to try and is so, so scared she does not know how? I know to detach but I am lost right now. One of her last statements was that she feels like she is hurting me more the longer she is in this "place". I told her that there is no pressure from me. It was probably not good, but I told her that when I married her I ment to love her for eternity. Does anyone have any feedback for me? I am would love to hear from anyone for input? Any and all is appriciated!!

Thank you!