FINALLY FREE- It is very interesting reading some of your feelings and if I knew my H was feeling some of this and I am pretty sure he probably is it helps in the understanding of this....curious about a few things if you wouldnt mind responding? Are you divorced? I am thinking not but wanted to veryify that? Is your wife currently wearing her wedding ring? If yes, how does that make you feel and if no same question? Did your Friend (ow) ever start pressuring you for "more" in your relationship? if yes, is that what turned you off from her? Or did you just start comparing her to your wife after the novelty wore off? How often would you say you think of your wife?? Do you think your wifes weight loss played a major part in attracting you back to her? Do you think of ML to her often? maybe I should stop with the quesitons now, thats in advance for responding to what you feel comfortable with, it really helps getting a perspective on the person walking away...I personally am still waiting for the shock to wear off.....you think your so bonded?? I guess the last one I slipp in here is I thought I read you thought about leaving for a year before? Is that right? Did you have thoughts like this throughout the marraige? Do you feel like you ever really discussed the things that were bothering you and gave your wife a chance to "make you happy" or maybe better said is give you what you needed??? Thanks again for your input
Grace as I am not your husband I can not tell you what is in his head. No I am not divorced neither of us have filed. My wife still wears her rings I don't wear mine, my wife has it in a safe place for me. Her weight loss had nothing to do with my changing my mind, but it is nice to see her looking so good. I have never stopped thinking about my wife, the good the bad and the ugly. Yes I now think of ML to her often but have not done anything about it. I left home about 13 months or so ago. I did tell my wife before I left what I needed but I was ignored over and over again. The OW wanted more then I was willing to give lets leave it at that.
finally_free, I see such good progress in your sitch and am so happy for you. - It is so good to read your thread. Would you please have a look at my last posts on my thread? Thanks for your input. Truelove
HI I feel bad asking you for advice since you seem to be constantly asked but I will as I am feeling like this is it. My H has filed and says there is no way we will not get a D yet has said after this is all over he sees us being great friends and maybe more. He occasionally does nice things for me- buys candy, shops at costco, fixes stuff around the house. We met at 16yrs old married 7 yrs later, been married 10yrs. We have 4 kids and I did yell often about him not appreciating me and working too many hours. I didn't listen when he said he couldn't deal with the constant arguing. So now 7 months after he moved out I am a changed woman - lost the last 15 pounds that I had, dress better, go out with friends, building my self esteem back, have my anger in check most days ect. I worked on everything he complained about but he said it was too late- alot like you had said when you first came to the boards. So my real question is - what if anything can I do to help him wake up before the D is final? I don't want to wait forever for him to come back- if we D I think I will move on. I realize for the first time in my life that I am a great catch and should be appreciated. Sorry to put all this on your thread - my current one in MLC doesn't give you a history of my sitch. Anyways sorry to hijack - you seem to like helping out now so I hope you don't mind. I cried when I read that you were ring shopping and realize that you didn't appreciate your W before. I spent the day dreaming that one day my H would be doing the same!
_________________________ JT71 02/28/06 11:24 PM
FF, I just praised you on my thread. Babysteps. Don't assume. Wisest words here yet. JT
_________________________ Becca1975 03/01/06 08:38 AM
FF, how are things going with YOU? You have been so graciously helping others but we want to hear about what is happening now with you as well.
_________________________ AmyC 03/01/06 09:55 AM
Yes! I'm with Becca..... I've been looking for an update from you as well, FF..... Amy
_________________________ Finding_Me 03/01/06 11:14 AM
FF- thanks so much for posting to me. I agree - it is great for you to help us but we do want to hear about you as well. I would love to hear how you are feeling and what has helped you change and what if anything your W could be doing to help you along. Just hearing the way you talk about your wife now is inspiring to hear.
_________________________ shocked_and_alone 03/01/06 11:39 AM
FF update us please, but this is also a shameless plug for Mike. He is a good guy, needs some support
_________________________ Bowtech 03/01/06 11:41 AM
