I retained my L. He sent her a letter announcing the fact and that he would like to have her see an occupational counselor/evaluator to determine her earning capability given that she insists that it is not possible for her to work full time.
Last weekend my S12 had a sleepover birthday party here at the house. WAW spent most of the afternoon/evening here helping with the party. She had warned me that she wanted to do this and I didn't object. It was strange, however, being in the same house with her again for several hours. Strange, but yet not so strange. My attitude towards her was that she was just someone there helping with the party, nothing more, nothing less, and it really wasn't hard to be in that place.
Its a huge contrast when she was living in the house still and I was trying to apply DB techniques, acting 'as if', not pursuing, etc etc. That was a lot of work. I think if I could have been in the place I am now back then it could have made a difference, because WAW's can tell when you are trying to do these things.
Last night I brought GF to my parents' house to have dinner so she could meet my brother and dad (she already met my mother). WAW had the kids this weekend, but S19 lives with me full time. I told him Grandma was having dinner, that I was bringing GF so she could meet uncle, and that he was invited too if he wanted to go. He chose to not go and stay at his mom's - he isn't interested in being around my GF and I haven't pushed it, except that I wanted him to know she was coming last night.
WAW had a FIT. She starts calling/texting telling me to not be pushing GF onto my 'kids' (note I didn't involve any other kids except S19 who I share the house with, and it was totally optional for him, I wanted to let him know he was invited and not excluded just because GF was there).
Since he was staying at WAWs last night and we got done with dinner late and had been drinking GF stayed here with me (she has done that before, but when S19 was out of town). She lives about 30 miles away and there is a mountain to drive over to get there.
Next morning WAW was sending me more crap about that - how could I have a woman over when kids could come home unannounced etc et.
She has a point, but GF left pretty early this morning, and again S19 knew she was there.
This whole thing about bringing GF around my kids is a thorny issue.
This is the kicker, however - WAW says "you have only been with her for 4 months and are already having her spend the night and taking trips with her. I have been with my 'friend' for 3 years and still haven't tried to bring him around kids, ..."
Here is the part that is funny - the reason she hasn't brought him around was because she was CHEATING so OBVIOUSLY she hadn't. That is also why she still can't bring him around now (because it further proves she was CHEATING with him and it wasn't just a 'friend'). Ironic. I have first introduced GF to my family before my kids. She can't even do that with OM because her family wants nothing to do with him.
It makes me appreciate the fact that I am starting a R from the right place. Her R with OM will never be right because it started the wrong way.
All you LBSs out there take note - you will move on from this place of pain and your foundation will be much stronger than WAWs when you do, especially if they try to stay with OM (still in secret in my WAW's case).
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
