Validation is a communication to the sending partner that the information begin received and mirrored “makes sense.” It indicates that you can see your partner’s point of view and can accept its validity – it is “true” for the partner. Validation is a temporary suspension or transcendence of your point of view that allows your partner’s experience to have its own reality. Typical validating phrases are: “I can see that . . .”; “You make sense to be because . . .”; “I can understand that . . .” Such phrases convey to your partner that their subjective experience has its own logic and is a valid way of looking at things. To validate your partner’s message does not mean that you agree with his/her point of view or that it reflects your subjective experience. It merely recognizes the fact that in any communication between two persons, there are always two points of view, and every report of any experience is an “interpretation” which is the “truth” for each person. It also recognizes that no “objective view” is possible. The process or mirroring and validation affirms the other person and increases trust and closeness.
