Thanks Angel. My instincts tell me to go slowley. This is all so new and I am on an emotional rollercoaster. I will definately listen to my coach. A PA would be really difficult to take - I don't even want to know.
Actually, in hindsight, I wish I had "verified" sooner.
Don't put your head in the sand, because denial will prolong this whole process.
Your instincts should tell you to focus on you now.
This all takes time. Take each day and make it the best day possible for you. If you approach it with a day to day; minute by minute approach it will be much easier on you and the roller coaster ride.
"Let Her Go" means detach from the outcome, don't fight her feelings, and accept the fact you can't change her mind. Validate her. If you can't handle her being in the home having an open marriage then do what Robx is advising. However, you have to be at a level where when you do this you are not acting out of emotion. In other words you have to feel those words He's telling you to say and you can't be at a place of emotion otherwise you will make it very easy for her to justify her actions.
How you carry yourself and control your actions will benefit you more then any word you could say.
Rule #1 for you right now - Don't do a damn thing off emotion. If you feel fear, anger, sadness, etc. Own your feelings; and understand that communicating from any emotion is not going to look attractive to your W right now.
When the DB coach says compete with the OM. Look at the OM as having nothing to lose and your W to gain. YOU look at it from an internal level. YOU have more self worth and respect than to have to resort to begging and pleading for W to come back. In other words YOU live your life as you know you are the better man. Her loss.
You are not there yet, but if you work hard on yourself you will be.
Another thing. When you feel you are about to do something stupid from emotion, POST HERE FIRST.
