Pens- You are very far from being out of the woods with this thing yet. I think you have some positive signs - no contact (as far as you know), transparency, and some remorse. I think if you read about affairs you will find that many of them end up going back to the affair partner at least once. They really need to hit rock bottom first, and unfortunately I don't think you going out to dinner with a friend is rock bottom. I really doubt that is the reason the affair stopped. Something else must have happened on either his/her end that caused it to end if that is really the case. Your moves over the next few months are going to determine what happens next. Focus on you, not her. Try not to have any R talks yet. That will come later. You will push her right back to him if you do. Really work on yourself and try to be the kind of husband she would want to have, but never make it look like you are doing it for her. Spend the next 90 days trying to do nothing that would "turn her off" no neediness, hide all of your annoying habits, etc. I really suggest that you go to marriagebuilders.com and read what they have to say about recovering from affairs.If you can stick to this plan if she does relapse (which there is a strong chance she will) then you know you have done everything you could, and at least set the stage for her wanting to come back when she does hit her rock bottom. If and when she does break no contact be ready to end it, and do this without acting emotional or making her feel guilty for breaking the no contact. It's like dealing with a child going to time out - no emotion. Just wipe your hands of it and walk away. Again, this will help her to want to come back when she does hit rock bottom. I know I may seem like I am jumping the gun now by telling you all of this, but I wish I had known all this when I was in the position that you are now, instead of after the fact. So it is better to be prepared. This is a long process and you have a lot of work ahead of you!
