It'a All About Me

[Sanderika]

Hi Cas,

I agree your H is heavy inside his "All About Me" zone.

Your H got defensive because you pointed out a flaw in his behavior and thought process. A MLC symptom.

In his mind the offer for this weekend regarding D was a good thing for all. In that way he earned points for being considerate and thoughtful. He is ignorant as to the impact his flip-flops have on you and D. Last weekend he was in "selfish" mode for sure.

I am proud of you that you stood up to him firmly and pointed out the boundaries and affect his choice last weekend had on you and D.

RE: "H said I was whinging"
H has no right in criticizing you for your needs and thoughts on anything. You are doing a marvelous job managing your life and D's. H being MIA, he really has no say in the matter and that was mean. I hope you promptly ended the chat.

Yesterday, I appeared in court and H was a "no show". The judge asked me to explain his whereabouts and I did so honestly based on the reasons H gave me for not being there (work related and could not reschedule due to circumstances).

Judge then asked me if I wanted to dismiss the D and I said NO.

Judge then asked me what I wanted. I could have said an instant D and everything (all assets). I stated that I wanted only what would be fair at this point in time and since H was not there to speak for himself I said I only wanted the basics covered.

So....
I got full custody of S without visitation (I wanted this one badly).

I got exclusive rights to our "home" property. (I wanted this one just as bad).

I will be getting child support at $183.00 per week. (H will be bs on this one he has employees who have to pay child support on one child and the most withheld out of those is $75.00 per week).

I will be getting spousal support at $1000.00 per month.

H has to pay for all costs of the D: legal fees, attorneys fees for both sides and appraisals.

Our discovery must be completed by May 31, 2011.

These are all interim awards. The final D settlement could be better or worse for me. We have a lot of property/assets to appraise and I refuse to walk away without future profits from the company. It's still going to be a long road to travel to the end.

H got off easy yesterday IMO. The judge could have imposed fines and penalties on him regardless of my statement. The interim awards will probably make him angry, I can't worry about that. H brought the D on and H was not there to speak for himself (all by choice).

This exhausted me yesterday. I have spoken to H twice. We chatted for an hour last night and it was all good. I am not going to get nasty at this point in time. It's not what it is all about anymore. This will be a business transaction and I am going to stay out of it emotionally in front of him. (I'll save the emotion for you all and my hometown friends);-)

Today he called early, came for breakfast and then took S for the day....All is fine. I am OK.

I hope you are having a good weekend. I'll be around watching and reading off and on throughout...

Thank You (((Cas)))

Sanderika