online dating tips, do-over

[v1olin]

Man, now I feel like a total slut for kissing in the parking lot for five minutes with that guy. I'm obviously way too easy!!!!

Only 5 minutes? I don't think that makes anyone a slut. I think I might be too easy too! I have kissed more people post-divorce than I have in my whole life! lol

[v1olin]

Match is definetly working much better than the other free sites I tried. I am emailing 2 women right now and another winked at me but she is from Wisconsin!?

[desert_rat]

Ten gets you twenty the long distance wink is a scam.
Nice picture? Profile doesn't have any words that really indicate where she's from? Doesn't seem to have any real "specifications" for who she wants to meet?

[v1olin]

I emailed her but no response yet. Her profile looked legit to me.

[kml]

Newmama said:
"kml...if you wanted something serious with the guy, you know that you wouldn't have made out with him! It sounds like you were looking (are looking) for a fling so making out in the parking lot is allowed with that kind of relationship. smile

Well I must say this...in hindsight, the guys I have dated since June-
the ones who are "into" me contact me the very next day or the same night!"

Well - this guy DID contact me that very same night - there was a sweet email waiting when I got home. AND a sweet reply the next morning.

As for whether I would kiss a guy for five minutes in the parking lot on a first date if I wanted a real relationship with him? ABSOLUTELY! Gosh, why would I want a real relationship with a guy unless I was at LEAST that attracted to him??? I thought I showed admirable restraint, considering how cute and smart and funny he was, and such a good kisser too.

[bright_new_day]

I totally agree. If the attratcion is there why would you fight it? I think chemistry between two people is really important. If you are interested, there is no harm in seeing if the physical adds to the rest of the equation!

[newmama]

Kml-- just saying that typically, when we get physical early, the relationships don't last long.

Ok everyone, prove me wrong, please, with your "exceptions" to this rule!

[newmama]

oops- kml, I think the guy was into you but also into other women as well.

[bright_new_day]

I got physical with my X early on and the relationship lasted about 25 years. I do think that OW "held out" and that is what made him so hot and bothered for her and now she is married to him. But they rushed into marriage and he was complaining about her within a few months of getting married. So I'm not sure what the answer is....

[flowmom]

Kml-- just saying that typically, when we get physical early, the relationships don't last long.

Hasn't been my experience. Last boyfriend before STBXH -- got physical quickly, together for 2 years and lived together for last year. Then met STBXH...

I think a huge factor is WHY things get physical quickly.

Is it because you feel a huge click with the man as a human being and feel so attracted to him that wild horses couldn't keep you from meeting him halfway in a kiss? That's how it was for me with Guitarist. We didn't kiss on the first date but the possibility was hanging in the air as we sat on a secluded beach and I would have totally welcomed a kiss (he was trying to be a gentleman).

OTOH, if you are a person who needs more comfort and trust before becoming physical and go along with a man's moving things ahead physically before you're ready, I could see how that could be a problem in developing a relationship. You have to be true to yourself and respect your own boundaries.