For HD men, the absolute most important thing in the world is the wifes SEXUAL desire for him. Most men equate lack of sexual desire for him as COMPLETE rejection of him. For most HD men, if the wife does not desire him sexually, then NOTHING ELSE IN LIFE REALLY MATTERS. He will do ANYTHING to get that desire from SOMEWHERE.
Curious, you say that desire wanes after the initial lust wears off. Michelle actually describes this in SSM and tells of all the chemicals in the body that cause this effect. This effect seems to impact women GREATLY, but not most men. I think this is because for men, once the effect wears off, they still have testosterone driving their desire and women have only a tiny fraction of that testosterone. I alos see that you say that a prior realtionship was with a LD man, and that you would have CONTINUED your desire indefinitely with him. I am guessing that many women, like you and my wife, are similar to this, that if YOU can pursue at YOUR pace then you will continue pursuing, but when you get married to a guy that has a much higher level of desire and is now chasing you more or less constantly, then the magic wears off, and sexaul aversion may even set in. I think I have this problem with my wife to some degree. She says I cling to much, which is true because the only touching in our realtionship is from me to her. I am desparate to be loved in any way. She wants a confident man, but what she does not understand is that the male confidence comes from how he feels desired. There is no better way to shatter a mans confidence then to NOT DESIRE HIM. I am still trying to figure out what it really means when she says she needs a man with confidence in the marriage.
