Moving to the next phase of what?

[cagzmom]

had a wonderful realization.
first so very at ease... softball is over. dont have to see idiot x for any reason!!

yes that helps the heart people!! even after this much time there are days when he still grabs my heart. But these "Dark" times for me are much needed. THE BEST part is that d14 finally sees it. the last 2 times he has come to pick her up she goes to the door (which is new) answers - and says "I am almost ready.." or whatever it is that is going on.. AND THE BEST??!! HE waits OUTSIDE!!

I know it sounds so dumb but it has taken me this long to NOT want him in my home. I AM NOT reacting or being hurtful. I mean if it is cold or whatever yeah - of course. BUT I AM over being hurt. AND I am OVER him hurting my kids!! This is MY home. I bought it with my own resources - NOT HIS... AND HE is NOT a nice person right now. if he were just "anybody" I wouldn't let him in... so thats who he is "just anybody."

I am glad that d14 is ready for it. She is amazing!! She has been back in counseling since his newest stupid move. AND IT IS so so so good for her!! So thankful for the people, counselors, etc that God has put in our life.

S21 is in counseling too. He is growing and changing and becoming a pretty strong little man. Proud of him.

Then there is just me - outside of being the divorced Cagzmom. I am really ok being single. Not hiding from dating - but just really at peace tonight. It is such a great place to be.

Thankful for so much right now.

Though I did not LIKE the way my life has gone the past almost 4 years -- I must say that GOD Has been good to me throughout.

Through the horrific pain.
Through the flood gates of tears.
Through pain that cuts your soul.

Through joy that comes from within.
Through the laughter hidden in my spirit.

Through the surprise gifts from friends.
Through the home he provided.
Through the career he gave me.

Yes God has been good to me.