Have you tried telling him that the "I'm too old" argument just doesn't wash? That if he is young enough to ride on a Harley, etc, that he is young enough to make love to his wife? His words and his actions are incongruent and I would be pointing that out to him, pronto.
I personally think he is referring to the IDEA of regaining his sex life that is making him feel old. It must seem like such a monumental task right now that he doesn't even want to try.
Have you ever thought about setting up some (temporary) ground rules for your house? When H and I were in the thick of this, I had to say to him the whole part about my needs not getting met, blah blah, and told him that from now on he was expected to give me a kiss and a hug upon entering our house at the end of his day. This is just an example, you understand, the point is that I asked him if he'd be willing to go by this list of 'rules' (oh didn't I feel sexy saying that). He said yes. It was almost as if he needed to follow the rules until it became habit again, you know?
It helped tremendously that he is a people pleaser and having to follow rules is not something that turns his stomach. I have no idea if such a technique would work with your husband.
Anyway, these rules were all simple affection type things and, of course, I threw in "sex twice per week" which he agreed to! I asked for a kiss and hug before going to sleep at night. That sort of thing.
The kind of thing that he should have been doing all along, dammit!!!!
Oops, I digress.....
My point is that it was very much a re-training process. It was not something that I could "say" in one of those lovely discussions that we all have and then expect him to remember it and act on it, from that point forward. His behavior had become a (bad) habit and, as such, it was not easy for him to ditch it.
The biggest thing that I have going for me is a spouse who wants to change. Not that it is easy for him or that he is always successful, mind you! But he does view a lousy sex life as something that no man should allow to happen in his household and that is a big PLUS in my situation.
It sounds as if your husband is like that, too, and once he gets past his excuses and commits to making a change, I think you will be both be successful at turning it around.
