Lost like a ship in the very dark night

[babh]

I have been reading here in MLC for a few weeks now, and feel that my STBX husband is a prime candidate! He is having an affair, for about 5-6 months, she is also married, but has recently separated from her husband, and she is only 4 years younger than he is. He still insists that she is just a friend, and introduces her that way,well I don't know about anybody else, but I don't sleep over with my friends of the opposite sex(guess cause they are all married) He is very impressed with her, says she is so professional, and that he fell in love with her at first sight. He has really checked out of the real world, and is also trying to take care of his Mother, who has had multiple strokes, and is paralyzed and depends on him for her financial things, and things for her house. He has let OW in on all the financials. She now knows all of his Mom's financial business. He proudly takes her to visit MIL, and everyone he can. I heard the ILYBNILWY, we haven't been "in love" for years, he hasn't loved me for years, he loves her. We had problems, I am unhappy, I want to do what I want, I can't sit here and grow old, etc...I think he covered most of the bases. He started acting weird when I confronted him about her, waffled a lot, he wanted to stay, he wanted to leave, he apologized, wanted to work it out, which he said with no feeling at all.

And he just doesn't acknowledge that I am alive. No contact between us in the last two months except an email a little more than a month ago, and phone call longer ago than that. I haven't seen him in more than 2 1/2 months. He filed for divorce in less than 2 months of separation, but now isn't signing the settlement aggreement either and he got that 3 weeks ago.


I should also mention that my Mom died last December, and they really liked each other. In thinking back, I know that he has changed in the last 4 years, just little things that maybe didn't speak to me before, but now in reading the posts here and thinking back, I can see them.

I let him keep the house, he just couldn't seem to really look for anyplace to live, and was very confused at the time. And I felt it was better for me to leave, the house needs lots of work, which he has been putting off. Now, he still has not refinanced the house, or gotten insurance on it, which I am paying for currently. That was the last email, which I did not respond to as I thought he was taking care of it all. I had it put into the paperwork that he only has 30 days to re-fi, or put it on the market. He does think right now that he can do what he wants, and since his feet are not planted on the ground, I'm sure he feels he is above listening to the court about that. He says he doesn't have the money to re-fi the house, but strangely enough, he spends a lot of money on other things. Son is keeping up on that, says he has been spending a lot of money on stupid things.


I feel like I am almost also going through this too, and it stinks! I know that the pain will ease, and that crying is really the normal thing, and well did they really reject us if they aren't in their right mind? I guess I'm asking if this is the "real McCoy" here? It sounds like it to me, and I'm not sure it will make any difference in the long run. I still miss him, and being married and I know that that will also fade with time. I guess like everyone else, I just have that burning desire to know if that's what this is. It does help with the rejection, and the feelings of it's all my fault...