I just finished reading the whole thread... I too have been divorced close to 2 years now, I am also a father of 2 wonderful boys ages 11 and 7. I don't want to sound like I know everything and I won't claim to be an expert. All the advice that has been given are good and as I read you did follow most of them. Based on what I have read, it seems that for every invitation that you receive I observed that you feel down after the event. May I suggest that what ever you have decided to do or not to do... is to not to attach any "Expectations" to it. Most of the time if there are "Expectations" attached to a deed... and somehow you don't get the "Results" it brings out your "Feeling down/empty" afterwards.
You can say yes to every invitation but have "Zero" expectations. I believe you need to go back to basics and practice "Detachment". You are not yet in a place where you can interact with your ex without getting hurt after wards.
Try to be the best dad you can be without expecting any "brownie points" from your XW (sort of like a "pat in the back"). Do it for the kids and you nothing else. "Accept" that this is already your situation and "Let Go and Let GOD" do the rest. I was given an advice before... that "as long as you do your best and leave the rest to GOD" then and only then you will see what is really meant for you. Blessings will start to show up. Sometimes we as human beings get caught up with all our accomplishments and think that we actually did it by ourselves. We lose track that God helped us along the way of our accomplishments. We become too proud, and forget to thank him and give at least a small credit to him... sometimes don't even acknowledge that he even exist.
