Their growing friendship which has never been hidden from me - all done out in the open as it were has been mainly conducted through emails
Out in the open as in she has informed you they are emailing, or out in the open as in you have read the emails?
Now they want to meet up out of town to see a film, stay overnight and then go to an art exhibition (both probably not my kind of thing) His wife knows nothing of these meetings past and planned.
If it is all so innocent, why does his wife know nothing about their relationship?
I have expressed my discomfort at this escalation but my wife is angry at `not being trusted' . How far does trust reach.
It is foolhardy to trust when when your spouse fails to put appropriate boundaries around friendships with the opposite sex.
Its not that I think they plan adultry - but my fear is that the appropriate boundaries, crossed before albeit long ago, could slip.
I think your W has already slipped in to an emotional affair. Even if she never became physically involved with him, an emotional affair still harms your marriage.
I am looking for someone less emotionally involved than I to take a more objective look at the scenario that I find myself in and consider whether my anxiety is paranoia
You are not being paranoid.
Should give my wife space to enrich her life by the mutual enjoyment of things that I cannot share with her in quite the same way as another,
Sure - with girlfriends or the occasional in town afternoon at the gallery with a male friend.
Did she invite you to come along?
or if doing so constitutes serious risk of passively `allowing' her to wander into territory where there is real danger of an affair.
Oh yes. Red Alert.
Nip it in the bud, and work on cultivating a better mental/emotional connection with your wife.
