Poe, I have a question for you. I realize that you found the LL book after you split up with your wife. I am wondering, though, what things would have been different if you had found it prior to the breakup?
I ask this because, on one hand, you suggest reading this book to a lot of people, but on the other hand you say that your wife wanted 4 hour long sessions and that there was no way you could deliver it. (I believe you, btw, but I also believe that she was speaking out of anger/hurt and a desire to wound you and reject you, in the way that she had felt rejected--this was unfair of her)
So which is it? Does LL really work, or is there always going to be some extenuating circumstance which prevents us from TRULY speaking each others' language?
If you could go back, would you attempt to speak her language fully and completely? Now, notice that I did not say that you would give her everything she asked for. I think that people in long term relationships realize that they are not going to get everything they asked for. But would you give her everything you've got, and really try to meet her sexual needs? Or would you hold back because of feelings of insecurity or inadequacy (the 4 hour session, etc)?
My H still struggles to speak to my in my own language. I'm sure that Physical Touch is the hardest one for the partner to meet; I can certainly see how strange it would feel to touch and hold someone when you don't really feel like doing it. Unlike, say, something much less personal such as doing the dishes for an Acts of Service person.
