First, my love language is physical touch. I am sure my wife wishes it were not. My wife now never initiates any contact with me, hates to kiss me, does not find me attractive(but I am for a 44 year old guy), does not want to be intimate with me in any way(on her own). She has TOLD me these things. I know that her love language has probably never really been physical touch.
She says that she wants a man that is confident in his marriage. I am not sure what that means, unless it means that she wants a man that KNOWS that he is loved, she does not want to work(sexually) to show it. It seems to me that many women like her, as they age, lose their desire for sex, have physical problems of menopause, and then want their husbands to ACCEPT them for this, you know, the old aurguments that marriage is so much more then sex(who needs it). I have seen many women on these boards literally say they want to be ACCEPTED. It seems then that what happens is that the husband and wife develope needs that OPPOSE each other. The husband has the need FOR intimacy and sex, while the wife has the need to NOT have sex and intimacy. He wants to be lovers, she wants to be companions. Being Lovers is a better and more advanced stage of being companions, so I find it hard to see why anyone would want to only be companions.
Sure, my wife COULD show love in other ways, she probably wants to love me in HER love language, she loves to talk. These can all be appreciated, but they do not register in my love bank. I would actually rather be alone then be with her, because she makes me even LONELIER then being alone. The sad thing is I love my kids, and really don't want to be away from them, so I struggle onward.
THe worst thing is I have been raised a good christian, and divorce is so opposed to my moral upbringing. I already feel like a failure because my wife does not desire me like the Bible says she should. The bible says that a women should LOVE to make love in many different ways with her husband so long as he meets her needs. It tells married people to NEVER be celebate. But it also tells men to love their wives NO MATTER WHAT. So it is a relationship, religion, ethical, moral problem that I face. And the last thing of all, is how hard it would be n the kids to go through divorce, and what kind of example is that for them?
If it was just me and the wife, I would have left years ago. But it is FAMILY now and how could I explain to the kids that Daddy is leaving cause he no longer loves Mommy, even though he WANTS to love Mommy. If my wife asks for divorce, I would probably be crushed, but in reality, it might give me freedom.
Question: If the wife asks for the divorce, and then the husband remarries, is he committing adultery according to the Bible, or do I have to stay single for the rest of my days?
