Cemar, I agree with LL. I know I am not a fly on the wall of your home but does your wife give you love in other ways? My H is not demostrative but he does show me love in his own way and I am working hard at picking up the signals that he does send.
Such as: he calls me from work sometimes just to ask me what I am doing. Last year he started a Saturday night "take the wife out to dinner" thing. Most Saturday nights we go out to dinner just the two of us. Our youngest two kids are now old enough to stay by themselves for awhile without killing each other. They are 13 and 16.
He takes me for a ride on his Harley. He buys me things that he knows that I want. He now understands that I won't put up with baloney from his family (that was a big deal of contention between us years ago. His family can be the kings and queens of BALONEY.)
He thinks I'm a great cook. He tells me that NO ONE could take better care of him. All of these things tell me he does love me whether he actually touches me or not. YES, I would LOVE for him to be more touch-feelie with me but he just isn't.
He has also told me that he has told guys at work that he has the best wife in the world and wouldn't change for nothing. For him to say these things is like a hug to me. Is your wife giving you verbal hugs that you are dismissing? Does she think that you are the greatest thing since sliced bread? If she does - there is your hug - your touch - your kisses. Sometimes people can be all action and no substance. My ex was touchy-feelie and spouted off his love but his actions spoke louder than words. Look at your wifes actions - her actions may be different than yours but no less valid.
I know that going without sex for that long would drive me up the wall. The longest we have EVER gone without sex is about 6 weeks and that was because he was not here - he was working out of state years ago. While co-residing in the house about 3 weeks - that even includes after the kids were born.
Maybe I don't have a real valid gripe about my sex life compared to others. What I have told my H is that because he is not real affectionate that making love is where I get my "fix" of affection. I like to hold him, kiss him, and make love to him. My sex drive has not really changed in 20 something years.
The only time I can remember not really being that interested was after our first child was born. It took several months for me to get back up to speed but our newborn did not sleep EVER and CRIED day and night so exhaustion on both our parts was a factor.
Anyway - look for her own kind of signals. You may find that they are there. Expand on those, wine and dine her (I'm sure you have but I am just saying what I like)and take her dancing if she likes that. Dancing is such a friendly way to get your arms around her and hers around YOU!! I did ask my husband the other day to take TANGO lessons with me - it was a no go but it never hurts to ask!
Let me know if you think she has her own signals going on. I am interested to know.
