I'm not so convinced that BBJ is living some sort of fantasy waiting game for Dan. I wonder whether, due to his bullying nature, she's scared to stand up to him.
I'm no mental health expert, but... people who are in relationships with somebody who is bullying, moody (and often alcoholics), and so on... will often develop coping skills to "manage" the situation and placate the bully so that things run smoother.
They often make it their job to try and make that person happy, cajole them into not acting up, and so on.
That's the reason I homed in on the "rescuing" behavior. Dan's a big boy. If Dan wants to throw a tantrum and not see his kids because his kids can't agree on what food to eat, then it's his loss, IMO. I don't that is protecting you or your kids from his bad behavior because it is ultimately enabling his bad behavior.
It's not your job to manage Dan. It's your job to protect and provide for yourself and your children and to set a good example for your kids, and teaching them to rescue an adult that is throwing tantrums and making bad choices over and over is not, IMHO, the best thing you can be teaching them.
No need to act in anger, no need to be nasty, but no need to rescue the bugger either.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
