About the bottomless pit of my darling exhusband...he was the one that rejected me sexually, yet wanted to constantly be touching me but if it in ANY way turned sexual he would push me away and say I was a nympho. I know that he had MAJOR issues where his mother was concerned. She had left and he was looking for a replacement of his mother - not really a wife - and when I acted like a wife he would panic.
I know that every situation is different. Mine certainly was doussie. After awhile I couldn't stand for him to touch me because he would then push me away. My revulsion came as a learned response - he touched - I became sexual - he rejected. What a nightmare.
I am not that way with my husband now. I am an extremely affectionate person with him. I hug and kiss him all the time and he is ot a demonstrative person. He does not like to hold hands and will only tolerate it for a short duration. He is working on that but I know what it feels like to have a spouse not that interested in all the touchy feely things that make me happy!
I know what it feels like to not have my spouse touch me in anyway whatsoever. Before he started taking all of the medication I got all of my touch-feelies when we made love which was probably 4 times a week at least in the first 10 years we were married. He was constantly reaching out to "cop a feel" too. That was nice.
Now - we still have sex but not nearly as frequently as we once did and not with the same intensity most of the time. Occassionaly it is still very intense like Wednesday - yea for me!
I know that I sometimes withdraw from him after 2 weeks pass and sex has not been on his radar screen. That gets his attention for some reason.
