Quote: If there has been good give and take between us, and my needs are in relative good order, then when he asks for sex, then I can be game.
This is one of the VERY big problems in HD/LD relationships. Do LD spouses ask EVERYTIME for EVERY emotional need they have to get that emotional need met? I really doubt this. But you LD spouses are grading our performance on meeting your emotional needs when I will bet that 90% of the time, you don't ASK for YOUR emotional need to be met. Us HD guys are supposed to KNOW what needs need to be met, and this is fair enough. But the opposite is ALSO true for the LD spouse. It is the whole desire issue again. It's also not always about frequency, it's who asks. In order for a realtionship to work, the LD spouse must meet the need for sex and intimacy most of the time with out being asked. If us HD spouses have to ask for sex everytime, then we are back to feeling like we are children begging the Mommies for candy at the candy store (And WE ALL hate this). True love requires that the wife SEEK sex from her husband. If you do not SEEK sex from your husband, the message you are sending is that of REJECTION of HIM weather you ment to or not.
Realistically, I do not expect a women to seek it even half the time, but it should probably be somewhere in the neighborhood of once or twice a month where the LD spouse AGRESSIVELY pursues an INTENSE lovemaking session, NOT A QUICKIE.
Afterall,are we not to meet our spouses needs willingly, cheerfully, wantingly, and without being asked (at least most times)? It's almos tlike a double standard, the LD spouse should not have to ask for their needs, but the one and only need a HD spouse has must be ASKED for? Us HD spouses are so simple, our needs are SEX and Intimacy, so why does the LD spouse not constantly think in those terms. Look at it the other way, us HD spouses have to think of hundreds of possible needs, will the LD just has to think of ONE, SEX!
