Quote: The difference is that you can socialize with people without your husband and it is socially and morally acceptable. It is not acceptable for your husband to get his need met with other people.
Yes, she can socialize with other people and I can have emotionally deep conversations with other people. I will be drawn closer to them...but those conversations with other people will do nothing for my emotional connection with my H. In fact, there is a real danger of being drawn away from him if those conversations are more fulfilling than what I might have with him. In order to maintain the emotional connection with my H, those kinds of conversations must occur with him.
When I read SSM and read some of the posts here, I interpreted Michelle and some HD people to be saying that sex helped with the emotional closeness. It was the primary way that they nurture their emotional connection with their spouse. Without sex they start to feel less close and less loving towards their spouse. It wasn't so much that they needed sex and their partner was the only one who was allowed to provide it.
I could easily relate to that. I understand a strong desire for emotional closeness. Deep, personal, mutual conversation is what draws me closer to another person. I was easily able to translate that into "This must be what sex does for the HD person." BINGO! "Of course, dear, you want to have sex?! No problem! Let's go!"
An HD person and an LD person may speak different languages when it comes to how they make connections. What they share, hopefully, is the common language of desire for mutual closeness.
