from his first post: Wife dropped the bomb on me one year ago. Found this website within a few days and read Michele's Books. Have been DBing for a year, going to counselling and becoming a better person, husband and father.
Wife and I always had a different approach to money, I saved, she spent. I became an angry person because of it. Over the past year I have changed my value system and have become more understanding, caring and considerate on all matters including finances.
Had a brief discussion with my wife about our relationship this week. She told that all of the nice things that I am doing and the improvements that I am making, only make her feel guilty. She says that she can't ever go back to loving me again and wants to live as roommates. I have recently moved to the basement and she seems fine with this.
The question I have that I guess everyone asks at some point is how long do you keep going with this? My wife is all laughs and giggles with people from work, visitors to the door or people on the phone. With me, there is this emotional wall up that she won't let any emotions through. Its like living with a complete stranger. I think others have referred to the WAW being like having an Alien in your house. She is not the person I met, fell in love with and married.
She has also connected with a male employee from work who she says is just a fried, but admited that he was interested in her sexually. Although she told him she just wants to be friends, she is always texting him and very secretive of her cell phone.
I guess my other question is whether making her feel guilty a good or bad thing? I have been thinking about going dark and or letting her know that I am considering divorce. Every day that goes by, I feel as if I love her less and less. Its almost like I am now going through what she has gone through and at some point I will be as emotionally detached as she is.
Punch, Keep posting on this current thread. Don't keep starting a new one.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
