I had no problem "performing" sexually. My X and I were intimate on a regular, pretty frequent basis, although lots of time I would just as soon have been reading a book!
Part of the problem maybe was that I just never had time to myself. I worked, I came home and did almost all of the childcare and household stuff. X was a workaholic and so we didn't spend much time in each other's presence.
Maybe if we'd had more of those days pre-kids to just have fun together, the sparks would have flown. But I doubt it. And I don't think he could ever feel my love without those sparks, even though it surely was there.
