Apology accepted, CeMar. I can understand how frustrating it would be to have had the kind of relationship you did with your wife and then have it end.
To me, the HD vs LD situation is really one of the Chaser and the Hunted. For me, desire mostly comes from the thrill of the chase. In a new relationship (and I had many pre-marriage) I felt desire until I knew the relationship was secure. Then it fell off. My X was always there, never let me chase him. One relationship I had before marriage was with a man who was LD. I definitely would have been after him if the relationship had continued! Thinking back on that rel. I can understand some of my X's frustration.
To me, desire has nothing to do with love at all. Desire has to do with lust, which has nothing to do with knowing a person. You could feel desire for a stranger on the bus. So it came as a shock to me to realize (all these years later) that my X thought I didn't love him because I didn't desire him.
To me, it's like this: I love socializing with groups of people. The X hated it. So we didn't do it. I would have loved to have had him enjoy that part of life with him. He hated it, it made him anxious. So we didn't socialize with groups that way. But I never felt consequently that my X didn't love me because he didn't like doing something I loved to do.
