I vent on here, but I really don't try to make anyone mad, so I apologize for that. My situation sounds similar but worse then yours, my wife now has NO DESIRE AT ALL. She was always "WILLING" to have sex, she just was never really into having sex. Unless both spouses are masters at handling this kind of situation, then problems will very likely arise. Read the following websites on a "Willingness to Desire" ans "Sexual Aversion". It becomes very hard to create a marriage where the LD spouse can actually meet the HD spouses EMOTIONAL need for sexual fulfillment with out actually getting into "Sexual aversion". Willingness to Desire and Sexual Aversion
As you can see, the greater the difference in sexual desire between the spouses, the WORSE the marriage will be, except for those rare few that have actually got 2 spouses that realize the problem and actually find a workable solution. I personally feel that virtually ALL marriages that end in divorce have this as one of their problems. The problem I see happening is that many LD spouses see sex and touching as physical needs where as the HD spouses see this as an emotional need, and that spells trouble.
I know that in my marraige, my wife started as a high desire person, then fell to a LD/ND person. When making love, it is like the difference between night and day. The MOST important part of making love, particularly for the men, is that it IS NOT about us getting pleasure, but rather the high we achieve by GIVING pleasure to our wives. It is our way of giving love, but when it is apparent that the person receiving our love is only there to "PLEASE" us, then it becomes REJECTION of us PERSONALLY. I have been reading the book from B. DeAngelis about what men want women to know about men. I really recommend this book, but I would warn LD women before they read this book that it might upset them a bit. It is very clear from this book that virtually all emotional needs for men flow through 6 inches of his body. Reject a mans sexual advances, YOU REJECT HIM PERSONALLY. Don't initiate sex with him, YOU REJECT HIM PERSONALLY. Don't like to be real freindly to those 6 inches, YOU REJECT HIM PERSONLLY. Hate to say it, but the joke about men thinking with their penis is not to far from the truth.
Carlotta, I am not asking my wife to have eqaul desire, I am just asking for her to have ENOUGH desire. From what I have read from other HD males, VERY few men ever find a solution to this. We can be the greatest husbands ever, and it still is not enough to actually bring our wives back to being sexual partners like they USED to be.
