Irish, Cas, MHL, and Mila, thanks for your feedback and encouragement!
IB, this experience teaches us to appreciate the small victories. So nice of you to offer encouragement. This is a long road.
Cas, I think your observations are spot on. They really resonated with me. It's eery how our experiences seem similar even though they are half a world apart. I wonder whether XH has noticed a difference in my attitude over the past month? I haven't been lingering after TT, I reserve the table at a time to fit MY schedule and XH has always accommodated my schedule, and I haven't been initiating hugs the way that I used to. XH initiated the hug last night. I sense a tiny shift in XH's attitude..........not sure whether I'm correct. I've taken XH off the pedestal he was on in my mind and it feels good. That has been VERY healing for me. For that reason I'm grateful for last week's convo.
Originally Posted By: missherlove
Moving forward, you need to view XH as a "guy" you are wanting to go out with......that is it.
MHL, this ^^^^^^^^^^ has been a paradigm shift for me. I find this to be a very helpful way to think about XH at this point, and for this mental image I THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
Originally Posted By: missherlove
do not focus on this too much........tell us what GAG is doing for herself too!!!
Working a few extra days in the near future to make extra cash to splurge on myself. Planning to do some special treatments at the dermatologist's office for moi.......and toying with the idea of doing some type of medical mission trip if I can afford it. I've wanted to go to Africa for years, but can't afford the time away from work right now.....but there are probably places closer.......just an idea at this point.
Mila, you hit the nail on the head!
Originally Posted By: Mila
trying to remember what was it like to date LOL....mysterious, little flirty, not too available LOL....you know
Quick update on the forensic investigation...........
Received an e-mail from the fingerprint expert. He pulled 3 good prints and 1 marginal print off the book that was sent to me (at least 3 different fingers). The best prints were right and left thumbs. He got several good prints from both of the beer bottles that I had BMF hold (XH helped me to get these prints). None of BMF's prints matched those from the book............ but the fingerprint expert did not find any complete thumbprints on either of the beer bottles, so BMF cannot be eliminated as a suspect. The expert said he needs to see BMF's thumbs rolled side to side and bottom to top, to compare properly.
I think there may be a return trip to the handwriting expert in my future.........
I know this has been a little scary for you, but it has made for some great reading how you've methodically gone about trying to figure out who sent you the package.
It is telling that XH has helped you with trying to get it figured out. At the very least you know he still cares about you.
Damn - now I have the Hill Street Blues music playing in my head.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Drat! I was hoping mystery would be solved by now! But, since this is a mystery out of the MLC section, I should have known it would take a little longer to get to the bottom of it!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Not sure when I'll tell XH about the new results. Maybe if he initiates contact.
I am interested in all this and I know you are too......
But
Drop it.......(sorry to be blunt)
Lets play this thing out right here and ponder the outcomes.
1. You find out it is BMF, then what?? Your going to tell XH so he can do what??? Maybe he will confront BMF and have a conversation about who?????......you guessed it....YOU?? If BMF sent it, then we know that BMF doesn't like you already, do you really want your XH carrying on any type of convo with BMF about YOU???? Senario one down.
2. You find out it is GF, then what?? Your going to tell XH so he can do what???? (wait a minute this is sounding like senario one........do I need to continue????
This is all about CONTROL, Mr. GAG must be one hell of a man to have so many people trying to CONTROL him.....you included.
If GF sent the book then she is trying to control your XH, if BMF sent it he is trying to control XH......don't you think that your XH realizes this??? It would actually be better if you did not find out. By not knowing who sent it then your XH has to potentially doubt all his relationships except his relationship with you.....get it???
By pouring this much energy into finding out who sent it sends the message that you actually "care" what these "whacked out" people think about you. You don't really care what they think about you, do you???
Look if your XH wants to associate with people that are not a healthy influence in his life then that is HIS choice. You cannot do anything about HIS CHOICE. What you can do is control your choices. At some point in the future this will come to head and YOU will be the one with a CHOICE.
Do I want to be with someone who chooses to be around people that negatively impact their lives???? Are you strong enough, independent enough to make the right choices for YOU???
Further more, wouldn't it serve you better to have this mystery unsolved??? Think about it, there is some evil force out there that does not want you and your XH back together, wow that is a perfect catalyst to keep your relationship going, right?? It is actually something that binds the 2 of you together. You solve the mystery then that catalyst goes away.
It is very similar to an affair, it thrives on secrecy, and going against what someone else wants, kinda adventuresome. I actually think that the not knowing will draw the 2 of you closer together.
Forget Hill Street Blues......this is more like Moonlighting....did you ever watch that one??? The sexual tension between Cybil Shepard and Bruce Willis was unparralelled, but as soon as they had sex....well the show tanked.
As soon as you find out the mystery sender......well, who knows what will happen.
My post are getting ridiculously long...sorry, I have a week and a half between jobs so I have some time....LOL
Here is the real message I want to send to you.....
You and I and everyone else here posting to you are really interested in how this turns out. We are all focusing on this potential reconciliation between you and your XH. There is a whole lot of energy going into this, right???
You have also spent some money on the cracker jack, super smart, lab scientists, from CSI Miami. (My post so I get to pick what the lab geeks look like, they might as well be "HOT" lab geeks, LMAO) Really how much is all this investigative work cost???
What if you put half the energy, half the time, and half the money towards something that would be rewarding to YOU????
How about this VVVVVVVVVV........
Originally Posted By: goodattitudegirl
Planning to do some special treatments at the dermatologist's office for moi.......and toying with the idea of doing some type of medical mission trip if I can afford it. I've wanted to go to Africa for years, but can't afford the time away from work right now.....but there are probably places closer.......just an idea at this point.
We here on the MLC board preach, actually YELL......
Focus on YOURSELF !!!!!!!!
You may want to look in the mirror and ask yourself.....
Why is that stuff up there in that quote is "just an idea at this point"?????
please don't answer here.......answer to yourself.
When you really start living your life, and you have started.....
but I mean really chasing your dreams, you become a person that other people want to be around. You will attract people like bees to honey......and you will feel great about YOU.
This is the best thing you can do for the relationship with you and your XH.
Keep us updated on the interactions with your XH, you have his attention for sure......lets keep his attention by not paying so much attention to him.
okay?
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
