I'm a LD spouse, my H left right after Labor day and Sex has always been issue. I din't ralize how big an issue until I read SSM. I was date raped and didn't realize until I went to C 3 weeks ago that it had made me view sex as a tool. Sex was just that. I don't think about sex, rarely need to satisfy myself. What went through my mind when H asked for it. It wasn't spontaneous. If a kiss didn't mean sex, I might have been more open to sex. A woman needs to be romanced. A pop on the ass as affection doesn't count (not to me anyway). If you go through the same routine before sex, then this is a turn off. It means sex is inevitable. My husband always did the same things before sex which was always when I was ready for sleep or upon waking on Sat morns. Predictablility is not a turn on. Romance me for the heck of it and every once in a while romance me for sex. You'll probably see an increase in her desire to please you if you respect her. Another one of my sex issues was my H wanted to go toooooo long. He wanted to enjoy the few times he got it way tooo much. Don't know if that is a problem for many people, but......
