Future, she needs you as a mirror, maybe? If you reflect back to her that she is charming and interesting and that you are interested, then that makes it so. It sounds like your wife has some narcissistic traits. It doesn't have to do with what you feel or that she wants to get back together with you. She needs you to reflect back that she's attractive and charming (it sounds like that's really important to her) and that you're OK. She wants to feel like she didn't do anything "wrong"--she couldn't help it after all, but that you still love her and will continue to do so forever. Great for her self-esteem. Not so great for yours. You see that the grown up thing is for you to try and get your own life back. She needs you as a hook for her own self-image. Maybe...its just a thought.
