I love my wife. It was just one of the reasons that I wanted to make my life with her that wa enjoyed an intense sexual component to our relationship - and I have always been a sexually motivated individual. It is all the other perhaps more important reasons for marrying her that have kept us together. From the time after after the birth of our first child she has shown little or no sexual interest in me and my eldest son is 16 now. Frequency of sexual intimacy fell from twice or thrice daily consistently over the couple of years B4 he was born to now perhaps once monthly and our miismathced libidos are a long term source of tension and argument. She suffers from a bad back after an accident sustained during that same pregnancy - and I am sure that the life of pain management and bedrest that she is limited to is a contributary factor. Her dissability limits the other ways that she could perhaps show her love for me - the practical care in our marriage is a one way street.
Earlier this year her ex from 30 years ago got back in touch. He was her first love and ended their 6 month relationship with greener grass syndrome when they were 18. Their growing friendship which has never been hidden from me - all done out in the open as it were has been mainly conducted through emails. He is primarily seeking a mental connection that he does not find with his wife who attends marriage guidance counselling with him. This has all been OK with me. Just about. They met up and my wife took our eldest daughter with her as chaparone. He came to our house and stayed overnight in the spare room. Nice guy. Liked him. Still OK. Now they want to meet up out of town to see a film, stay overnight and then go to an art exhibition (both probably not my kind of thing) His wife knows nothing of these meetings past and planned. I have expressed my discomfort at this escalation but my wife is angry at `not being trusted' . How far does trust reach. Out of town ? Same Hotel ? Same room ?
Its not that I think they plan adultry - but my fear is that the appropriate boundaries, crossed before albeit long ago, could slip. My wife swears that she loves me and that she has never looked at another man.