In the process

[flowmom]

Newmama, no matter what you do with a guy, you need to give yourself permission to pull the plug at any time if it's not working for you unless there is a serious commitment. Don't worry about "leading on". You are worrying too much about the guy's feelings here -- you've never even met him! Worry about YOU and how YOU're feeling.

A decent man will be respectful of your decision...only a jerk would try to make you feel bad by saying you've "led him on" etc.

When stopped seeing Guitarist to pursue M, I hated doing it. We had had a wonderful date the night before and I knew that things had gone too far and I had to pick one. Guitarist was disappointed but incredibly gracious about it. His response to unexpected rejection spoke volumes about his good character.

I think you're going to need to consciously work on letting go of DBing and excessive focus on the man. This is a time to be selfish and listen to your gut and feelings.