to answer your question... Yes and No! A lot of things are like the old us, but a lot of newness has taken over. I'm very careful as far as trying to not falling back into our old routines or ways of doing things... I guess a lot of things were bound to change for us anyways, being that H is now working, not studying and going to school, and now having a baby. It really does feel like starting all over. Now its great, because we eat dinner together every single night. And H makes more of an effort to get dinner or go food shopping and even cooks for us, where in the past it was always me doing the work. I also make sure that H is more open and honest about things. So, where in the past if I said what would you like to do today or what would you like for dinner, he would often say, i dont care, or whatever you want. But now, I ask him to be more honest and to "care" and to have an opinion, rather than just do whatever it takes to make me happy. We do talk about the future and know that we simply want to enjoy right here, right now and know we will always be together. Funny how H's thinking is completely different than when he left. He did say that he loves me, although the separation did cause a distance, and the love is not as strong as in the past, but is confident that it will grow beyong what we once had. there are plenty of times where i get scared and say, what if... and he will reply with there isnt anything we cant handle. Nice to have him believing in us... sometimes even being the stronger of us two, to psh forward.
Typical day... H will text when he gets to work, saying good morning, have a good day etc. Followed by a phone call during lunch, or breaks, and lots of texts in between when he can. He comes over right after work, and we eat dinner together, and just sit on the couch and hang out, he is more affectionate in that he will cuddle with me or hold me and we simply snuggle. He is a huge help with the baby... thank goodness! He goes home late, after baby is asleep and I go up to bed. He will make sure the house is straightened up or see what i need upstairs, or what i need to start my next day or to be prepared for midnight feedings. He usually texts or calls when he gets home. A couple of times, he will say its like when we were dating... the weekends we are together all day... he basically lives here by day, and goes home to sleep at night. We both decided (one of my stipulations) that we take things one day at a time and he not move back in until we speak to a MC. h did call the group of MC i spoke to way back, and we are going in October!
Sunday, we had his neice's baptism, and I was invited, and H wanted to walk in with me and stood by my side like an H would. his parents were so happy we were there together.
We never told anyone except for my sisters and mother that we talked about working on our M. But after the party sunday, H decided he wants everyone to know that we are together . He wants people to be happy for us and pray for us and send us good energies... (most of our family and friends still wish we'd get back together). I was the one who suggested we not say anything to anyone until we know what we are doing, But now he said he wants to tell his parents and family as he says we are a couple and working on our M and will always be together and work hard at repairing our M. H is always sad when he leaves at night, so am I, but he made me feel better when he said once, I am moving back home... just not today, but i will be back. Said he wants to take baby steps and that we should be in MC first as to not fall into our old ways, and get comfortable with the way we were. So we are dating! hahaha
He will come up to me and hug me... and compliments me and is interested in my work, and my days, and basically everything.
I do have my moments where I will say to him, what if we dont work, etc. or just feel a bit down, but he will say we will work, we are meant to be together. he says he made a bad decision and knows he doesnt want a life without me and remembers the love we had and is determined to get it back, stroner than ever.
ahhhhhh.....
Our anniversary is next week... to be honest, i dont feel like it is anymore. Yes, H agreed he'd have to marry me again one day, even if its me and him in an elvis chapel in vegas, or the two of us in a little chapel, the point being that we do it for us and to recommitt to us.
Next weekend is also the baby;s christening... I am so looking forward to it! Our closest family and friends will be there...
to be honest, my life right now is ALL about the baby...
Having so much fun being a mommy... he is so delicious!
Hi Babydoll, haven't heard from you since the boards went down. How are things? Hugs
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Hi piano... nothing new to report... same ol'. Taking teeny tiny baby steps... it's really fustrating at times. I have my 'i cant believe you left me' moments, and then we have the nice moments... times when i think i should just give up (the fear inside of me takes over). I tend to push away. And yet i love too much.
Hey BD, good to hear from yer! They say reconciling can be very trying. Are you still doing your IC? How was the christening? Tell me about bub! xx
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Hey Piano! need a new IC... my other moved away! Ughhh! We start MC soon... he is making the appt and doing all the work. I tend to push him away a lot... just my way of protecting myself i guess...
enough about him! Bub is fabulous!!! 4 months this saturday! so cute... he rolls around and is definitely going to be a talker... i am just loving every minute of being a mommy... how about you??? The christening was great...nice to be surrounded by close family and friends... my baby is the angel baby of the family... always smiling!!! hahaha
my baby is the angel of the family too! I think because we went through so much, we got the babies we "need" - i.e. happy, resilient, etc. One older woman/mum of 3 said that maybe our bubs have come into our lives to 'mother' us in our time of need. I like that idea :-)
I love how you don't want to talk about "him"!
"Him" is why we are here....
Or why we WERE here.
Now it's about US right?
I miss chatting with you too, so lets keep it up. xx
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Babydoll, just checking on you! Piecing is the complete opposite of Surviving the Big D so I forget to venture over here to this forum!
Please do share how things are with your H when you can.
Hi, Piano! Where is your thread?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hey! I feel like we have all graduated from primary school and gone to different high schools & keeping in touch is not easy!! I WAS reposting in Infidelity but there's NO traffic since Red left (WHERE IS SHE?) and AntoniaB moved to MLC.. so now I am back in Newcomers!!!! I probably should be in MLC... I really enjoy reading that lot!
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Hi, Piano, Red has a new thread in MLC but hasn't posted in some time.
Great analogy about going to different highschools! Here is a summary: me- divorced; filed by exH Gatsby-in process of divorce, filed by Gatsby Babydoll-piecing! you-??? I need to know! I will look for your thread in infidelity.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
. He wants people to be happy for us and pray for us and send us good energies... (most of our family and friends still wish we'd get back together). I was the one who suggested we not say anything to anyone until we know what we are doing, But now he said he wants to tell his parents and family as he says we are a couple and working on our M and will always be together and work hard at repairing our M. H is always sad when he leaves at night, so am I, but he made me feel better when he said once, I am moving back home... just not today, but i will be back. Said he wants to take baby steps and that we should be in MC first as to not fall into our old ways, and get comfortable with the way we were. So we are dating! hahaha