So long, and thanks for the fish

[newmama]

Your transition object? Hey, that should be in the list of things you do to take care of yourself! Let's add it! Good job, Aver.

I don't see the harm in having a crying fest with your MIL. I mean you're relationship is done, sadly, so who really cares if you avoid your inlaws or not? Honestly-- if we truly move on, we don't care with the ex thinks of us. So anything that got back to him (like how you were so upset) is not a big deal, is it? Of course you are upset...to pretend like it didn't hurt you is silly. But you are also moving forward with your life and not calling him or emailing him all broken hearted...I think doing that kind of stuff is not ok and goes against the DB rules.

Sorry to ramble.

I really like this:

even if it could be scientifically proven that I was the WORST partner in the world, and X was a perfect angel, etc., what good does it do me to keep beating myself up about it?

Learn from it and move on, right?

Absolutely- what good does it do to remember all the bad things we contributed to our relationship. It is in the past! Can't undo it!

And even if you were progressing, we all have setbacks from time to time. I think the self help grieving experts say that each time we grieve, it should be getting shorter and we can bounce back sooner from the funk than the previous time.