New to this community seeking advice 2

[JR09]

Hi Michelle, Hi Ruikee,

Thanks for staying in touch and encouraging me. I haven't posted in a while. Been doing a lot of thinking. I have plans to drive up and see the Boys for sure. They are doing fine. W is alo doing fine. I call herabout once or twice a week just to say Hi. No pressure at all.

W has been quite pleasant over the phone. No arguments. No venom. I just play it nice, saying Hi, showcasing my best self, never drawn into an argument, letting W test my reaction, but never giving into arguing. W has not mentioned the D word for a whole year now...Even when I dropped my bomb to tell her I was at peace with what I have done, still W never mentioned D.

What does it mean? Does it matter? I don't know anymore. I am not as stressed as I used to be about what W would say or do. It's not up to me anymore. I keep maintaining what I have accomplished. The rest is not up to me.

I swim a lot lately , keep up with weight lifting, force myself to go to church socials. Kinda slipped a bit. Didn't do Halloween. Kept the lights off so no one would ring the doorbell. Just wasn't in the mood of it. But all in all I am OK. I have to say that at times I wonder what goes on in W's head. What's all the wait about? Why not just end it and refile? Anyway, No need to mind read, I guess...wasted energy, as Carlos would say.

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for chiming in, guys. I'll do better at posting more often...

Joel