In the process

[newmama]

OK so I talked to Helicopter Pilot last night for 3 hours. But I do need some input- hopefully someone will see this in the next couple of hours.

red flag#1: he informed me that he got a DUI in February so he lost his license for a full year. He got a DUI when he was 20 (he is 35 now) so that is why he lost his license.

red flag#2: he is still in recovery and going to 2-3 meetings per week.

red flag#3: he kept talking about our future relationship together and asked me about things that I found important in a relationship and he is pretty much ready for a serious relationship. I told him I am just dating at this time and not ready to commit my life to something serious...

he said since we were able to talk for so long, he figured we had a connection and he wanted to talk again tonight (after my son goes to bed) so we can figure out when to meet.

I couldn't figure out how to end the conversation after I heard he is still going through recovery. I mean I didn't want to be like "Oh. Well, gotta go! Nice talking to you!" So we chatted about stuff for another hour after he told me.

I REALIZE this looks like I was leading him on, and I totally didn't mean to do that! Honestly! I was confused about whether I was being a judgmental person or not giving it a chance, etc. People do make mistakes.

I think if he had told me that he had already gone through this experience, (like let's say he said "a couple of years ago, I went through a dark period, got a DUI but went through treatment and counseling. I learned a lot, and this is how I put my life back together" etc. etc.) then maybe I would be more open.

So now what do I do? And in the future, I just need to find a way to end the conversation when I have a clue that the person is not right for me, correct?

arghh...I don't want to be a conflict avoider. How do I explain myself out of this situation?