It's an awful journey isn't it? You deal with the loss of your family, the fact you have been replaced, and still have to deal with all the crap the WW has to say about your marriage.
I saw these quotes elsewhere and thought it fits well, at least my sitch anyway.
So, it was a huge change when her steadfast resolve to end our marriage came to light. It later become obvious that she used hostility, anger, re-written history, etc., to keep me at a distance physically, emotionally and mentally, because she "sensed" that she could be swayed.
The WAS will make up tall tales, fabrications of events that never occurred on anything or subject that fits into her false story line of a previous married life of utter misery.... This keeps them alive and rolling into oblivion IMO...
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
This keeps them alive and rolling into oblivion IMO...
It's how they remember things.
Memory is, if nothing else, changeable.
Ever look back at a holiday and think how great it was, but you vauguely remember fussing about silly things, but the memory makes you feel good now?
Anybody who tells you that you can't change the past hasn't really thought about what they are actually saying, what they actually do with their own past, or they are lying for some unknown reason.
I guarantee that if you spend all of your time ruminating on every negative emotion you have ever felt, you will only remember a past of crap and pain.
Made a gratitude list lately?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I haven't mad eone lately TH, that's a good plan for tonight.
What prompted the WS dialogue, and part of me feeling down lately was the other day when I was picking up the kids, the 2 y/o runs out of the car, passed my wife who was trying to get a kiss good bye, and jumped into my arms screaming "I missed you Daddy".
My 5 y/o asks when are we going to live together again....it breaks my heart, makes me feel good they miss me so much, but still breaks my heart.
The part I wonder about, is as this draws to a conclusion, I have dealy with the depression, the loss and all that goes along with it....since the WAS wants out so bad, and they have something keeping them busy.....do they ever crash?
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
I noticed your sig, and have been looking for your sitch, I love to read to story of one of the 1% who avoid the Reaper. I have looked through your post history, and can't seem to track down a thread for you.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
I feel for you. Found out W had gone to her father's girlfriends house (who also is divorced) several months ago crying and, of course, the divorce advice came out again - like she didn't get enough of that from the rest of her posse.
Anyway, I don't have D3 right now and feel the same as you. I'm the only one remembering the good times. Its so funny how they remember things so differently. The last time I spoke to W before I stopped all communication, she was revising history, too. Everytime she would think of something good, she would make it into something bad to justify herself. Anyway, I've taken enough of your post - I'll continue this on my thread.
I feel for you. Found out W had gone to her father's girlfriends house (who also is divorced) several months ago crying and, of course, the divorce advice came out again - like she didn't get enough of that from the rest of her posse.
Anyway, I don't have D3 right now and feel the same as you. I'm the only one remembering the good times. Its so funny how they remember things so differently. The last time I spoke to W before I stopped all communication, she was revising history, too. Everytime she would think of something good, she would make it into something bad to justify herself. Anyway, I've taken enough of your post - I'll continue this on my thread.
Keep posting KEM, I look for your posts all the time, our sitches are so similar its scary....right down to the "Divorce Posse"
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
I love to read to story of one of the 1% who avoid the Reaper
I do believe it's significantly higher than 1% (at least 15-20%), but those that struggle the most tend to post here the longest.
As for my threads, some of them are still there: "I think it's OK to let go" and "I think it's OK to let go - Unlocked" are still around, I believe.
As for ... have I made it? Divorce has been indefinitely delayed, we're dating, and my W wants to move back home.
She's at her apartment tonight, though, and breaking the lease is going to cost $1,100, and then hiring movers... plus she bought furniture (on credit) that I'm going to have to make room for (thinking of finishing the attic over my garage so that I can more more stuff in there, and then moving her sectional into the rec room, moving the rec room furniture in the "office", blah, blah, blah.
Stuff I gotta do.
Working on a success story. We may remarry without a divorce
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
