Finding My Way

[Mystik]

Got home tonight to a message on the answering machine from H questioning if he was still on my insurance or not. It was quite a blow, even though I myself told him last month he needs to get his own policy. So DS called H and it turns out H was in a bad car accident today, thinks his car is totalled. He is also with another insurance company, not sure if it's Whore's or not. We spoke and I told him I was glad he was ok but didn't get all emotional about it, kept it as impersonal as possible. He said since his car is most likely totalled he doesn't know what is going to happen as far as transportation now when he's supposed to have DS and he'll let me know more as he knows more.

Naturally after I got off the phone with him I cried. Cried because I miss him, because I love him. I cried because I'm not the one he turned to after his accident to let me know he was ok. I cried because he is no longer on my policy, there is no longer that thing connecting us. I still feel so strongly that we're going to work things out but until that happens this situation is really draining.