I know it's confusing reading the books & the board. You know your W better than anyone and I think that is the basis of making most decisions. We can give advice from our personal experiences and what we've learned through books....but we do not know your W personally. I believe much of that applies to relationship books. Even when I know the author is more educated or experienced in that field.....there are some things I know would not work with "my" H.

For a while, there was a lot of talk about a new book that come out, and the book was good......if you didn't have a WAW in an A!! However, if you did then that book was totally pursuing. Yes, the LL principles could be pursuing, especially if the couple is separated. I confess that I had to go back and read your thread. What I should have said was if your W's LL is not words of affirmation then you would have to learn to communicate and show her your love in a different way. But I mainly wondered if you "knew" what her LL was.

I agree that she sounds like she is depressed and has very low self-esteem. So, what did OM do that made her feel good about herself? Did he say what she wanted to hear, or did he buy her little gifts, etc.

I'll get back with you, but I've got to go for now.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!