H's MLC - he is still lost but I found myself

[Mila]

Thank you GAG, SA, MHL, Eric & Lance

SA - I think that pride would be a huge issue...I know it would be for my H. You ask if they should be told that there is hope for R....He knows that I love him but he also knows that I don't trust him....he is starting to realize how much damage he has done to our relationship and he even blurted out few times "you are going to hate me forever" and "you think that I'm a horrible person"....so he probably doubts that I could forgive him and that it's fixable....on the other hand, this is his second affair in our marriage and I forgave him for the first one, so he knows it's possible to do under the right circumstances.

MHL - I agree with everything you said in your post...that's how I'm looking at it also. BTW how can I not agree with a guy that quotes Jimmy Morrison?

Eric - I've been thinking a lot about the part about other people knowing what he has done....and in my case lot of people know, some he told himself, his family, some friends, he even told his own daughter that he "fell in love with someone else". I told my family, because I couldn't get away with just saying that we mutually decided to separate...they know better, they know how strong our marriage was and how much we loved each other. I also told couple of my girlfriends...the ones that support me....needed someone to unload to. Do people judge him? Yes some do, but I always try to just state the facts and I do make concession and excuses for him....they know that I don't hate him, some even know that the proverbial door is still not totally shut. Will they accept him back and not judge him? I believe in people's compassion and if it's doing to be our choice to R they will forgive and forget.

But agree with you Eric, it would be hard for H to face everyone...he is still kind of avoiding everyone including his dad....shame, guilt?

Lance - I'm sure OP is still watching over us in some form or other LOL. Thanks for the popcorn