I have mentioned before how the mornings at home with both of us there have been very stressful. I have asked her how I can help her get the kids ready and make it easier on all of us. She cannot or will not give me an answer. So, a couple weeks ago, I decided to let her make lunches and pick out clothes and I would start breakfast, play traffic controller with getting kids in the bathrooms to brush teeth, etc. and get D7 and S3 dressed. It seems to be going better. I don't try to help with lunches. If she asks, I am happy to go in the shed and get a gallon of milk or whatever she needs. Other than that, I let her be. If she picks out clothes for D7, that's what she wears. If she hasn't, I will pick them out and help her get dressed. Same with S3. No pressure, no help where I'm not wanted.
Some mornings we are running a little late and she's rushing around doing this and that and I ask her, "What can I do to help?" Usually I get the grunt and no answer. So, while she's running around all stressed out, I'm tying shoes, practicing spelling words, multiplication tables or whatever. It helps with everyone's stress level except hers. Not to say she isn't any better, she is. She still has many moments where she blows up about nothing.
Why was this so hard for me to see? Maybe I'm going overboard the other way. All I know is the kids and I are more relaxed and we have fun. If someone is not moving fast enough, instead of telling them to come on and hurry up, I'll go and pick them up and tell them the fork-lift is carrying them to the bathroom or something off the wall like that. You can make almost anything fun if you try hard enough.
