Should I say I love you? Part II

[TimeHeals]

Me, personally, I never say a word about ultimatums.

I do say to know who you are and what your own healthy boundaries are, and if push comes to shove you protect yourself from people who don't recognize those boundaries.

That part should come pretty natural for people with high self-esteem once they've recovered from the whole shock and awe of learning about an affair.

So... you have to decide what you are willing to tollerate and what effects that is having on you, your family, and your marriage.

I have watched and read things from people who literally endured this stuff for years--constant deception, outright verbal and emotional abuse, and so on--and for the most part, they have a very, very, very hard time getting past their anger and hurt.

A good man (or woman) has got to know his limitations. Know your values, treat people with respect and respect yourself, and if neccessary, you protect yourself... because we don't want you to be a bitter, angry, resentful person who goes through the rest of his life with a chip on his shoulder.