Thanks Pie, I will go read up on your sitch. I also have an appointment this afternoon with my IC.
I am aware that I do "want" this to mean H is comming home, but I don't think it does. Not any time soon, anyway. I guess I see it as a baby step. One that is necissary to keep H walkin' down the long road home.
I also believe that this is and was a dealbreaker issue for H. If I handle this badly, H is going to get very hurt and I might as well file for the D myself.
Quick note ... there are two of us with screen names that are close .. I am PEI and there is a Pie ... just clarifying in case you are trying to find my threads
You do seem to have a healthy perspective on your sitch, just remember that you CAN change your mind at any time about the intimacy depending on how YOU feel. The last thing you want, is to do something that you don't truly want to do ... even if it
Originally Posted By: hope for zen
is necissary to keep H walkin' down the long road home.
... for fear of building resentment.
Keep up the good work, keep moving forward ... you sound really good
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Quick note ... there are two of us with screen names that are close .. I am PEI and there is a Pie ... just clarifying in case you are trying to find my threads
Or in case you're ydscxile...I mean dyslexic.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I agree completely with PEI. Only you know your sitch the best. I'm just trying to make sure you keep your eyes wide open. I speak from experience since I TOO ended up rekindling sex with H while OW (who HAD a PA) was still in the picture. I knew it when I did it and thought I was OK. I soon realized I wasn't and had to pull back a bit for my own well-being. And like you, sex was one of our issues. Stay strong and keep us updated!
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
While I agree that you do know your husband best out of anyone here, the people here know what most MLCers are going to do (say, act, respond) (statistically) and what is going to help the LBSer.
Advice here is offered with the intent to help you, based off of DB, and firsthand experience, both good and more importantly BAD.
Alot of us here have fallen into pits we'd rather you avoid, but most kids need to touch the stove to learn some lessons. : )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Quick note ... there are two of us with screen names that are close .. I am PEI and there is a Pie ... just clarifying in case you are trying to find my threads
Or in case you're ydscxile...I mean dyslexic.
If she's dyslexic she'll never make it through my tome!
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
but most kids need to touch the stove to learn some lessons. : )
OR....not only do you touch the stove....you stick your hand in the broiler, leave it until your hand is totally chared and then wonder why your hand hurts.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Oh you mean the dating other people while your an LBS lesson? Or the divorce them into loving me lesson? Or the I don't need to change, I'm a goshdamn prince/princess they should change lesson?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Quick note ... there are two of us with screen names that are close .. I am PEI and there is a Pie ... just clarifying in case you are trying to find my threads
Or in case you're ydscxile...I mean dyslexic.
If she's dyslexic she'll never make it through my tome!
I found your tome and printed out for a bit of "lite" reading. Nice to know I'm not the only chatterbox on here! : )
While I agree that you do know your husband best out of anyone here, the people here know what most MLCers are going to do (say, act, respond) (statistically) and what is going to help the LBSer.
Advice here is offered with the intent to help you, based off of DB, and firsthand experience, both good and more importantly BAD.
What I came to understand is that I knew my PRE-BOMB husband the best, but the inhabited alien I was living with post-bomb was, unfortunately, not the same person.
As I walk this journey and get farther and farther down my path I keep discovering that stuff I was being told a while back is just starting to make sense now. I spent a lot of time "I know, I know"ing my way through the early end of this, I honestly thought our situation was unique in many ways. I'm NOT saying that's you ... just keep reading, keep learning ... keep moving forward ...
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Alot of us here have fallen into pits we'd rather you avoid, but most kids need to touch the stove to learn some lessons. : )
Damn stove :P
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
